Well this is kinda embarrassing but I'm gonna tell it anyhow. I was up until midnight or so last night, painting, and when I turned in I thought I might have a little wank to help me go to sleep. So I did, and I had a very intense and long orgasm because I very seldom wank. So I was just laying there thinking about nothing in particular when all of a sudden I became aware of a tingling/tickling sensation in my chest/back of my throat and then I just burst into tears. These really deep, harsh, grating sobs. I don't know why and I could barely stop. I guess it's safe to assume that my orgasm touched some deep emotional place in me. This morning I feel spent, puffy-eyed, and a little depressed.
That's not the first time it happened. While I was still married, actually not long before the end, on a weekend morning I was lying in bed and the ex had already gotten up. So I had me a little twiddle and afterward I felt this tiny, tickling/tingling sensation. I wondered what it was, and I watched as it kept growing and growing until finally it burst. To my surprise, it was tears. At that moment I had a flash of truth: "I'm not attracted to my husband, what am I going to do?" As it turned out, I didn't need to do much because my ex already had the situation well in hand.
Ugh, I'd better quit because I don't want to start crying again. I'm gonna play dollies.
--Crap, can't play dollies right now, I've got homework that I can't blow off.
I plan to call Mike today and just tell him that I'm not up for anything beyond friendship. I mean, he's handsome and studly and would be a welcome guest in my pants if only he'd gone about it with more finesse. {I wonder if he's got a big schlong? --Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.}
Oh, okay, I brought it up. Penis size: does it matter? My guess is that it would be a different answer from every woman. For me, I tend to like 'em big, but it's more important who it's attached to and if they know how to use it. Physiologically, as I was informed by a doc long ago, I have a very deep vagina. Yay me. Actually, that's good for the guy but not for me, because the average dude can't go in deep enough to reach that spot. So here's my requirements for a mate: intelligent, down-to-earth, educated, funny, kind, honest, respectful and a big schlong. Yeah, I know, it's too much to ask. :-) Again, a big one is nice but there are more important things. I had a friend who told me that her vagina was built somewhat shallow. So see, there's someone for everyone.
Later
Aiight, check this out. Looking up some terms for sociology: "Manifest function: The obvious and intended functions of some social phenomenon." What the hell is that? That says absolutely nothing at all!
posted by Newpeep, N.D. (neurotic depressive) @ 10:34 AM
3 Comments:
You size queen, you. :) I like 'em thick, length doesn't matter as much. And funny - a friend told me recently that she's built shallow, too.
I like your openness and honesty. It's quite refreshing in a world full of up-tights. :)
Hmmmm... makes me feel a bit like Goldielocks. Fortunately, I found a guy who's "juuuuuust right". Size must matter. I mean... how often do you see a dachsund-St. Bernard mix? Speaking of the BF, once he was fiddling me and I had an orgasm that was so long and intense I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. My usual instinct in these matters is to laugh. Uncontrollably. For about 10 minutes.
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