That gives me something to think about. He referenced that scene in When Harry Met Sally, where Billy Crystal is talking about how men are not capable of being "mere" friends with women. Even though I don't want to believe that, experience and observation tells me this is true. I just want a friend. Why is that so hard?
So we thanked each other for our honesty and said we'd likely run into each other at the VA office, while I secretly resolved to stop going there, and we hung up.
2:42 PM
Took a nap, which seems to clear my head. No point having regret or second-guessing myself, because that's what I did with Eduard when we got back together, and that was a definite mistake.
Two missed calls in the last two days from local numbers with no message left.
At least I know that Mike is level-headed enough not to do the whole prank-call thing with me. It's just not in his nature, he's way too solid.
Regarding the whole friends thing, say for example that the tall lanky artist dude wanted me to hang out with him platonically. I would do it, because I liked him as a person and I would have enjoyed getting to know him better, sharing his company and talking about art and stuff. I dunno. To me, sex isn't everything. I mean, before Eduard, I went five years without it. Sometimes I think I'll never figure things out.
7:05 PM
I can't believe the day is gone already. The cats have been comatose all day because they got some Flint River Ranch cat food for the first time and totally went to town on it. Normally I'm not a "pet food" kind of person, preferring the raw diet for both dogs and cats, but sometimes the raw diet is too expensive and time-consuming for me.
I'm feeling kinda shitty, a combo of Aunt Flo's visit, depression and loneliness. I think I might take to my bed.
I was raised to dread and detest my period. My mother called it the "creeping crud" and it just added to my self-loathing and sense of cruel, twisted fate that I was born female. When I was grown up and away from my parents' influence, though, I began to feel that the period is a time of cleansing, and now I welcome it, even though it's inconvenient sometimes.
There's another veteran, a really nice guy named Dan, who's closer to my own age. He's not, like, totally gorgeous like Mike but I can tell he digs me, and he's more easy-going. He offered to tutor me in my math classes this summer, but I'm not attracted to him so I think, in light of the above discussion, I won't string him along.
I bought a Haute Doll exclusive, Checkmate Kit. While her outfit and accessories are wonderfully detailed, especially considering the pricepoint, Kit herself has an enormous gourd. I mean, damn! She's the first Kit I ever held in my hands and her grape is totally out of proportion with the others, even RTW Angelina, the previous wearer of the XL tiara. I don't know what I'm going to do with Kit, get used to her coconut, sell her, pack her away, or what.
posted by Newpeep, N.D. (neurotic depressive) @ 11:45 AM
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