Thursday, January 13, 2005

Went to a CoDA meeting at a different location this evening. This one was very small, only five people. At the end of the meeting, since they knew that I'm a newbie, they asked if I had any questions. I brought up the newcomer's orientation-cum-fundamentalist evangical sermon that took place at the last meeting. Funnily, they knew exactly the woman I was talking about. They assured me that's not part of CoDA. Well, thank God for that. I guess it was just my newbie bad luck that I didn't know to high-tail it the fuck outta there, which is what I'll be sure to do next time. The people at the meeting also mentioned that I need to work on my boundaries since that bitch bothered me so much (they said it more tactfully than that), which I agree with.

Dogs are going back to stay with my parents tomorrow. I feel bad for them because they'll be confused and hurt. However, I know that my parents, as shitty as they were at parenting, are terrific with my dogs. They're cared for far better than when they're with me. The dogs also just wear me out. It's tough.

Shay told me earlier that Eduard had called her and asked if he had any messages from me, to which she replied no. She said she instant messaged me at that time. Well, I didn't get it and there's no record of it in my history. Aren't I supposed to get messages regardless of whether or not I'm currently online? Meaning, shouldn't I get the message next time I log on? Whatever. As I told her, he said he'd call me, not the other way around. I'm content to not see him for a few days. Let him do whatever it is he does and to hell with it.

I was pondering today, why does he love me so much? I mean, he purportedly just LOVES me. Why? How deep can it be? We've only been seeing each other, what? Four months?

posted by Newpeep, N.D. (neurotic depressive) @ 11:22 PM

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