Friday, December 31, 2004

Awright, I made it there on time. I like Dr. H., she's way cool. She approved of my ditching Eduard, ha ha. She recommends a support group for me like CODA, Co-dependents Anonymous, because my relationship selection really needs to be addressed. I like what she says about support groups and workbooks for adult survivors of sexual abuse, which is that they tend to get stuck in what happened with the perpetrator. I totally agree with her there: I'm like, I fucking know what happened; I don't need to relive all that shit. What I need to do is address the damage it's caused to my emotional and social life.

Took the dawgs to the session because directly afterward I drove them to the dog park. They behaved beautifully in her office. Beekie didn't seem to get into the dog park scene today and stuck to me like glue for some reason. That, coupled with the fact that Mother Nature told me I must get home immediately, prompted us to leave.

On the road I was reflecting how Eduard was always good for the "one more beer" ploy. Trouble was, it always turned into, "just another beer," "Just one more," "after this one we'll leave," etc., etc., ad nauseam. We were at the tavern once when I was on my period, bleeding heavily, and didn't have any extra supplies with me. "Just one more." I lost my stack, "Aw c'mon, dude! I'm bleeding through my tampon here!" A trifle too loud and the bartender heard. Oops. That's okay, he's married.

I think hanging around in bars is a fucking waste of time anyway. People sitting at the bar think they're so fucking witty, profound and insightful, when in truth they're just inebriated. Stuck there listening to them while sober was, well, sobering. Not to mention irritating. Eduard calls those people his friends; well, all his friends are fucking drunks.

He called his drinking an "incompatibility" between us. Fine, I can use that term too. "It's because of this incompatibility that I can't see you anymore," I said.

Oh, and has he ever called back? No. Dumbass.

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