Spent about four days at my folks' house for Christmas. Awful as usual, maybe getting worse. My mother has taken to dumping her complaints about her husband onto me. I don't want to hear it!! But I always love seeing my dogs. Andy slept with me every night. My tweetie-pie, I could just pick him up and love the stuffing out of him.
New Year's Eve I went to Bro's house. Got to see Niecey, and SIL wasn't so bad either. I think she might have a hormonal problem. I'm supposed to meet them tomorrow at the zoo. At 10:00 in the morning! Is that barbaric or what?
Okay, remember me talking about the girl in high school, my best friend, who dumped me so cold? (And the scenario was repeated with my marriage, ironically enough, where I was dumped for someone "cooler," or better in some other way.) Well, she sent me email through Classmates.com. Coulda knocked me over with a feather. I'd been tempted to contact her but refused because I didn't feel it was my place as the "dumpee." So I dunno, just the fact that she sent me an email has lessened a lot of those stupid feelings I've been harboring all these years.
I've had a copy of Courage to Heal for a few years now, and I brought it out and read bits of it over the last couple of days. Made me really snippy and irritable. They're saying that I have to relive every instance of abuse, down to exactly what was happening and how I felt. Call me a coward, but no thanks.
Still, though, I managed to avoid utter depression over the holidays, which is good.
posted by Newpeep, N.D. (neurotic depressive) @ 10:35 PM
1 Comments:
Hi Newpeep - good to see you back! You know, it's only some people's opinion that you have to relive every experience you went through. There are others who say that you need to talk about your feelings around it, but that the details are sort of peripheral. In cases of PTSD, yes, it is more important to sit and go through the details more thoroughly. If you don't have symptoms of PTSD, and its really more of a gnawing anger than a daily fear, it's not as necessary.
I don't think someone who doesn't want to deal is a coward. It must have been a very painful experience.
Hugs, S
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