Saturday, October 01, 2005

Didn't say that the other day in the local Wally World I saw the guy who took my virginity when I was 17. I almost didn't recognize him, although he didn't change much, just some deeper lines in his forehead and his hair cut shorter. We looked at each other and I'm not sure if he recognized me or not; I was wearing a ponytail through my baseball cap. I couldn't help but send him a sardonic smile but I kept walking and didn't address him.

Seeing him was strange although not altogether unexpected -- this town isn't so big, after all. I found I wasn't angry anymore. My prevailing sense was that he was "just" a person. Dunno if I'm explaining that correctly.

On my 17th birthday we drove to the lake and made out in his van. The last word I said before he entered me was "no," so I guess you could say that technically it was a date rape, but then again, I shouldn't have been flat on my back and naked in the back of his van, right? I don't think about it much; I think we were interrupted by spotlights shining on our asses. Oh yeah, good times.

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