Monday, January 03, 2005

I guess what I wanted when I got together with Eduard was a companion, a person to hang out with and share some yuks, and have sex with too. But things quickly became more, much more, emotionally complicated. I ended up losing myself in him. Why? I did that in my marriage too. It's weird, it's like I subjugate all my needs, wants, obligations, etc. to the guy, and he didn't even ask me to do it. My scheduling, social life, etc. all revolves around him. I guess that's what they call a co-dependent. I dunno. And then of course Eduard and I entertained insane thoughts of a baby and "forever." What a mess. How did everything turn out to be such a bloody mess?

posted by Newpeep, N.D. (neurotic depressive) @ 1:32 PM

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