Talked about education in sociology today, about labeling children according to their perceived ability. How the labels become self-fulfilling prophesies.
In fourth or fifth grade, not long after we'd moved to BFE in the Bible Belt, I got "demoted" to a lower math class because, well, I wasn't good at math. The way that system was set up, I had to also be demoted in English because there were only two teachers and they alternated, teaching at the same time, see what I mean? So when I brought that news home to my mom, I was, like, in total disgrace. An academic failure. Prior to moving to BFE, I was a bright child, eager to learn. Afterward, I developed behavioral and disciplinary "issues." I'd given up on myself and on everyone around me. Certainly, I was a schmuck because everyone told me so. Thus, there was no reason to disprove them; rather, it was my job to prove them right.
Just trying to explain why, at 38, I'm two years into my undergrad degree. Weird how life works out, how things affect us.
Got some heartburn after an earlier Indian dinner. It was worth it. My favorite fucking food in the whole world.
posted by Newpeep, N.D. (neurotic depressive) @ 9:38 PM
5 Comments:
Hey. You're doing it, aren't you?
Hey ND - Send me your email address so I can 5 question ya. :) trancelogicmail@yahoo.com
I've already mentioned this on Sandy's blog but if you weren't doing this, I wouldn't have had the guts to consider going at all! Can't you see you've inspired me?
Thanks!
When you said "It's my job to prove them right.." Damn that really hit it!! Isn't that what we do? I think actually, we prove them wrong all the time. It's just that proving them wrong are done in smaller steps than when we prove them right.
Since Bijou's photo is now in your archives, everything looks swell now. :) Have yourself a groovy weekend!
Lois Lane
Hi Kate: you betcha. I don't wallow in my past misfortunes, but sometimes it helps for me to piece things together, just for my own benefit. It's brought me a lot of peace, shown me what a lot of nonsense my conditioning was.
Sandy: Check your E. :-)
V: I never thought I'd serve as an inspiration to anyone, so thanks! A roll model for me was a 50-year-old lady who got her bachelor's; when she was young her father had removed her bodily from college.
Lois: Glad things look better now.
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