Friday, February 04, 2005

Yeah, my shrink totally ragged on me yesterday. It was like she was personally upset or disgusted with me or something. She was saying how I'm not invested in living this life and I'm at the midway point of my life right now and how would I feel at age 80 to know that I didn't do anything with my life, that I'd be an angry and bitter person and blame life. Beneath this onslaught I just sat there with my legs crossed, my foot twitching and my finger feeling the zit on my lip. And she continued to say that now I just lost the two people I hung around with and what am I going to do now? I know, how about drive straight home even though I'd planned on going to the gym afterward, burst into tears, and go to bed, that's what. And then stay up until 1 a.m. reading someone else's blog, and then go back to bed fully clothed with a splitting headache. And then wake up at 5:30, still with a headache, and continue reading that person's blog.

And that my meds and twice-monthly sessions weren't helping and that I should consider ... I forget the exact term she used. "Day facility" or something like that? I would have to go to the VA for that, can you imagine? Me in a psyche ward, wearing a paper robe amidst all these homeless, delugional Vietnam vets? *snort*

And she criticized my giving the dogs to my parents, saying the only reason I like the cats is because they don't need anything from me (which isn't true; they're very interactive and two are on my lap right now). And the fact that I'm only going to school to get a break from life as a secretary and that I'll probably wind up being a secretary anyway since I don't like school.

I'm not saying she's wrong in any of this, but since when do shrinks belittle their clients and make them feel like shit? Basically telling me I'm a big loser and I'll wind up like Eduard.

And my head still fucking hurts.

posted by Newpeep, N.D. (neurotic depressive) @ 6:18 AM

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