What the fuck is wrong with me? I overslept again today, woke up at 11:30. My first class starts at 11:00. So I jumped out of bed and showered, thinking that if I hurry I can make German. I guess in my little noggin I was thinking that German starts at 12:30, when it starts at noon. I mean, there was no way I would have made it in time and I didn't realize that until I was on the freeway nearly at the university. Why do I do stuff like this?
I'm gonna have to drop that first class, which means that I'll only be taking four hours this semester. Fucking shrink's gonna tear a hole outta my hide when she hears that. I'd like to get rid of her. Well, be careful what you wish for. By dropping the class I'm surely forfeiting my VA vocational rehab benefits, for which you have to be going at least half-time I think.
I really dug myself into a hole here. I mean, I cried for the sixteen years I was a secretary, bemoaning the fact that I don't have a degree and have no way of getting one. Then I find an opportunity and I'm fucking blowing it. I really don't understand myself.
I should just take the lazy way out and just get some stupid job. But I can't be satisfied with that; paralyzing depression sinks in after a few weeks or months.
I'm so lost.
posted by Newpeep, N.D. (neurotic depressive) @ 1:19 PM
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