Gotta go shopping today. Super Walmart. I know, they treat their employees like shit and pay them dick, but I'm poor and need the most bang for my buck. Milk, A.G., chicken, hamburger. God, there was something else and now I can't remember. I hate that.
Let me pop my antidepressants. There.
Sometimes I feel bouts of loneliness and that I miss Eduard. No, I'm not going to cave. I try to focus instead on what I don't miss about him: his nasty toenails, stinky feet, oddly effeminate hands, restless sleep, showing up two to three hours late and drunk, etc. In a way I laugh at him: he disdains prescribed antidepressants (has boasted of weaning himself off them) but at the same time drinks himself into oblivion. Oh yeah, that makes lots of sense.
Even so, I hope nobody decides to fill me in on who he's fucking next. It will make me feel bad, senseless as that is. I mean, I think about him getting some sex from someone else and I feel a pang of jealousy. Something I'll have to deal with.
Spent a good amount of time yesterday reading the Anonymous Lawyer's blog. Entertaining stuff, but it saddens me. Do we have to be so cut-throat and forfeit our lives to earn good money? Well, it's not like I had any aspirations to become a lawyer anyway, but still, I found the accounts to be similar to other corporations in which I was employed (however briefly). Interesting to hear a "partner's" viewpoint, though, and helpful I think.
posted by Newpeep, N.D. (neurotic depressive) @ 10:45 AM
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